


The Gay Furry Cult lead by Jeremiah Heere

by expiredbruise



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz, Be More Chill - Ned Vizinni
Genre: ((ITS ME PROJECTING MYSELF ON TO CHARACTERS OKAY)), Agender Brooke Lohst, F/F, Jeremy Heere Is a Furry, M/M, Multi, Texting, Trans Jenna Rolan, Trans Michael Mell, Trans Rich Goranski, christine is a mom, everyone is insane and gay, groupchat, half the group is trans for some reason, i hate this, rich is clingy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-30
Updated: 2018-10-20
Packaged: 2019-05-16 02:46:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 3,724
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14802893
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/expiredbruise/pseuds/expiredbruise
Summary: queere- jeremyreadyplayer1- michaelimhervalentine- chloeshesmyvalentine- brooketheyseemerolan- jennacrissy- christinericharoni- richjakeyd- jake





	1. spaghet

_**queere**   _ **added** **_readyplayer1, imhervalentine, shesmyvalentine, chrissy, theyseemerolan, richaroni,_ and  _jakeyd_ to the chat**

 

 

 **jakeyd:** what the fuckity im tryna eat my spaghetti

 **richaroni:** wh

 **richaroni:** im coming over see u in 15 babe

 **queere:** is this the spaghetti epidemic

 **readyplayer1:** tHE SPAGHETTI EPIDEMIC

 

 

 _ **readyplayer1**  _ **renamed the group _The Spaghetti Epidemic_**

 

 

 **imhervalentine:** guys stop being gay

 **shesmyvalentine:** chloe we literally have couple names wym

 **theyseemerolan:** heck

 **chrissy:** blocked. reported. banned.

 **theyseemerolan:** blease Christine ily <3

 **chrissy:** ily2 now come over :(

 **theyseemerolan:** ive got family dinner, but ive got something planned for us tomorrow ;)

 **readyplayer1:** ooh what's the winky face for

 **queere:** u getting it on or what

 **theyseemerolan:** im just trying to set up a cute date for us stop harrasing me :((((

 **chrissy:** jenna i love an appreciate you ty bb  <3

 **theyseemerolan:** yeah but there was gonna be sex after milkshakes

 **chrissy:** jENNA I THOUGHT YOU WERE MORE WHOLESOME THAn THIS

 **chrissy:** jk no i didnt

 **chrissy:** but yeah sounds amazing babe <<<3

 **jakeyd:** can you guys not talk about The Sex while im eating spaghetti

 **richaroni:** yeah im also eating spaghetti 

 **richaroni** : because jake was so generous to lend me some 

 **jakeyd:** he came into my house without knocking, walked into my room, and took my bowl of spaghetti.

 **shesmyvalentine:** are you

 

 

 _**jakeyd** _ **attached a photo.**

 

 

 **imhervalentine:** they ARE

 **queere:** no gay on main

 **readyplayer1:** this is actually pretty wholesome

 **queere:** besides the fact that this could become a spaghetti orgy at any minute

 **readyplayer1** : shut your fuck


	2. why is everyone gay and sappy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i totally got this out on time what are you talking about

**richaroni:** isnt a fetish for feet a feetish

**readyplayer1:** wh

**shesmyvalentine:** rich are you okay

**richaroni:** think about it tho

**jakeyd:** is this because i said you have a foot fetish

**richaroni:** um

**queere:** you guys are literally in the same room wyd

**jakeyd:** so are u + michael

**queere:** i’ll cut you

**richaroni:** but i was looking at ur toes

**jakeyd:** i can wipe it off if ur uncomfortable w/ it

**shesmyvaletine:** what happened

**richaroni:** he painted his toes red

**richaroni:** omg jake dont get up ily

**richaroni:** its not weird

**richaroni:** i love them come back

**richaroni:** jaaaaaaake :(

**jakeyd** : are you sure you dont hate them

**richaroni:** yes yes yes please come back ilysm

**jakeyd:** i came back and now he’s stroking my toes please help

 

 

**_richaroni_  attached a photo.**

 

 

**richaroni:** wouldnt you stroke them too

**queere:** 10/10

**readyplayer1:** 10/10

**theyseemerolan:** 10/10

**chrissy:** 10/10

**imhervalentine:** 10/10

**shesmyvalentine:** omg chloe ur online

**shesmyvalentine:** ily ily ily  <<<333

**imhervalentine:** brookie cookie  <3

**shesmyvalentine:** ily but thats where i draw the line

**imhervalentine:** :(

**shesmyvalentine:** <3

**imhervalentine:** :)

**imhervalentine:** hey u wanna go 2 pinkberry tomorrow?

**shesmyvalentine:** like a date?

**imhervalentine:** of course it is bb  <3

**readyplayer1:** speaking of date

**readyplayer1:** how was the date yesterday _**@chrissy @theyseemerolan**_

**chrissy:** i love my gf

**theyseemerolan:** i love my gf

**chrissy:** she remembered that strawberry is my favorite milkshake  <3

**theyseemerolan:** is anyone eating rn

**queere:** me n michael are snacking on doritos

**theyseemerolan:** oh so no talking about The Sex

**readyplayer1:** even if we WERENT we still do not want to hear about The Sex

**queere:** idk

**readyplayer1:** jeremy wh

 

 


	3. asdfghjkl

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> btw i forgot to say this but the squip squad is finishing up their senior year so thats kinda important ig

**readyplayer1:** can i have someones notes for science

**queere:** michael u slacker

**chrissy:** yea i got u fam 

**chrissy:** open your dms

**richaroni:** ew no science on main

**readyplayer1:** blease i need to STUDY

**richaroni:** iF YOU DONT STOP

**richaroni:** I WONT HESITATE TO FUCKIN

**richaroni:** I'LL SLAP YOUR MITOCHONDRIA SILLY 

**queere:** let him LIVE hes doing his BEST

**readyplayer1:** **@jakeyd** ur bf is mEAN

**rrichicharoni:** NO WAIT

**jakeyd:** rich BLEASE im SHOWERING OFF MY SINS

**jakeyd:** also u smell so come in the shower w/ meeeee

**richaroni:** in more ways than one ;)

**jakeyd:** you are a lost cause 

**queere:** now WHY is jake at rich's place on a friday night

**richaroni:** the same reason ur at michaels

**readyplayer1:** to play sonic generations..?

**richaroni:** to have The Sex

**queere:** WHY ARE YOU THIS WAY

**readyplayer1:** idk jere

**queere:** micha what u sayin

**readyplayer1:** jeremiah 

**queere:** michael

**jakeyd:** get in the SHOWER before i ASTRAL PROJECT you into the mcFUCKING SUN

**richaroni:** beg for me

**jakeyd:** rich im about to turn your nipples into silly string

**richaroni:** the wife needs me, later guys

**chrissy:** bye!!!

**queere:** good luck

**readyplayer1:** dont die

**chrissy:** theres 3 types of people in this world

**queere:** anyways

**queere:** where is the rest of The Squad

**chrissy:** shopping for stuff for the house

**queere:** the WHAT

**readyplayer1:** YEAH UHM WHAT

**chrissy:** oh yeah we forgot to tell u 2 oops

**chrissy:** but me, brooke, chloe, and jenna are getting a tiny house together!!!!

**chrissy:** so that we dont have to be cramped in dorms for college

**readyplayer1:** u know what college ur going to???

**chrissy:** oh yeah

**chrissy:** the community college by that one art gallery

**chrissy:** all of us submitted applications 

**queere:** AND YOU DIDNT TELL US

**chrissy:** yeah sorry about that 

**queere:** QWERTYUIOPASDFGHJKLZXCVBNM

**readyplayer1:** oh, are we speaking our native language, the Gay?

**readyplayer1:** bc HFOKRGJHANBFVGHG

**chrissy:** HBBRGFFYDKNVV???

**readyplayer1:** VVVVVVQWERTYUIOPLKHG

_**readyplayer1** _ **changed the group name to** **_toto blessed the gays down in nj_ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ive got more than one story going at once so updates might not be as frequent as planned but there will be at least one every week (but i can most likely do 2 updates)


	4. worm god

**richaroni:**  hey bugfuckers

 

 

**_richaroni_  changed their name to  _worm god_**

 

 

**jakeyd:** oh god

**worm god:**  did you mean oh worm

**jakeyd:**  i

**queere:**  why is rich worm god

**worm god:**  because

**worm god:** i had to go up to the gas station for some movie night snacks

**worm god:**  and there were WORMS on the SIDEWALK

**worm god:**  but there were also BIRDS on the sidewalk

**queere:**  im scared for what you're about to tell us

**jakeyd:**  yeah this doesn't sound good

**worm god:**  and the birds were getting closer

**worm god:**  so i picked up the worms and RAN

**worm god:**  buuuuut I took em in the gas station and set them down in the oreos to pick up the snacks

**worm god:**  BUT I FORGOT TO TAKE THEM OUT

**worm god:**  im a terrible worm god

**jakeyd:**  rich i

**jakeyd:**  what

**readyplayer1:**  rich you cUCK

**queere:**  NO SWEARING ON MY CHRISTIAN SERVER

**readyplayer1:**  jeremy ur jewish

**queere** : shhhhhhh

**readyplayer1:**  wait

**readyplayer1:**  jere 

**readyplayer1:** come over

**queere:**  y tho

**readyplayer1:**  just come over

**readyplayer1:** pls

**queere:**  well im near 7/11 u want anything

**readyplayer1:**  cherry slushie?

**queere:**  i got u fam

**readyplayer1:**  and its uh

**readyplayer1:**  shark week

**queere:**  what no its not

**readyplayer1:**  shark week, jeremy

**readyplayer1:** u know

**queere:** OH

**queere:**  yeah i’ll grab u stuff

**readyplayer1:**  tysm i love u

**queere:**  ily2 b

**worm god:**  oh me too michael

**readyplayer1:**  what

**worm god:**  im swimming with the sharks

**readyplayer1:**  oh that sucks

**readyplayer1:**  jake better be taking care of you 

**readyplayer1:**  i’ll fight him

**worm god:**  no he’s been on my back all day

**worm god:**  he was racing around today

**worm god:**  i love him u feel

**readyplayer1:** thats gay

**worm god:**  YOUR GAY

**readyplayer1:**  you’re*

**worm god:** mikey i will punch u

**queere:** dont touch my bf thot

**worm god:**  excuse me

**worm god:**  u basically slept with brooke

**worm god:**  UR the thot

**queere:**  i didnt sleep with her

**queere:**  and that was b4 michael

**worm god:**  yeah but still

**worm god:**  why did u do it in the first place

**queere:**  uhm

**queere:**  the squip

**worm god:**  oh

**worm god:**  sorry man

**readyplayer1:**  hey lets not go there

**readyplayer1:**  im p sure its a sensitive topic for both of you

**readyplayer1:**  u almost here babe?

**queere:**  yeah 

**queere:**  im here

**queere:**  micha

**queere:** im heere

**queere:**  open ur door

**queere:**  MICHA

**worm god:**  rip

**queere:**  i have an idea

**readyplayer1:**  WHAT

**readyplayer1:** JEREMY JUST YOTE HIS PHONE AT THE WINDOW

**worm god:**  did you just use yeet in past tense

**readyplayer1:**  yes

**worm god:**  i cant believe i even like u

**readyplayer1:**  what

**worm god:**  what

**readyplayer1:**  u like me

**worm god:** I MEAN

**worm god:**  AS FRIENDS

**readyplayer1:**  oh

**readyplayer1:**  i better go let jeremy in

**worm god:**  bye ig

**readyplayer1:** see ya

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im adding more tags to this so u should probably look at that lol  
> also i call my period shark week so there u go


	5. pickle pussy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for not getting this out sooner hhhhh

**queere:**  okay so

 **queere:**  what the fuck

 **queere:**  edna from the incredibles is a girl???

 **queere:**  i didn't know that

 **worm god:**  omg rly

 **worm god:**  what if edna was trans

 **worm god:**  mtf

 **queere:**  omg

**_jakeyd_  changed  _worm god_ 's name to  _richaroni_**

**richaroni:**  first of all, bitch

 **richaroni:** stop lurking ****

 **richaroni:** second of all

 **richaroni:** i liked my name :(

 **jakeyd:** im sorry i don't want my bf associated with worms

 **jakeyd:** but yeah edna is trans and you cant do anything about it

 **readyplayer1:** yes jeremy spread the theory

 **queere:** my gorl edna

 **readyplayer1:** best gorl

 **richaroni:** okay guys who tf ate my bread and butter pickles

 **richaroni:** my suspects are chloe, brooke, and jake since they were both at my house last night

**richaroni: @imhervalentine @shesmyvalentine @jakeyd**

**shesmyvalentine:** i don't even like bread and butter wtf

 **shesmyvalentine:** its cloe who has the pickle fetish or smthn

 **jakeyd:** the what fetish

 **imhervalentine:** BROOKE

 **imhervalentine:** I DONT HAVE A PICKLE FETISH

 **richaroni:** jake did u eat my pickles

 **jakeyd:** no

 **richaroni:** okay that only leaves chloe

 **richaroni:** pls don't shove pickles in your vagina next time

 **queere:** picklepussy

 **chrissy:** hey whats up

 **chrissy:** uh

 **chrissy:** should i leave

 **queere:** nonono stay

 **theyseemerolan:** you guys are going to corrupt my gf

 **jakeyd:** you think that's bad

 **jakeyd:** yesterday rich stuck a folded paper in my backpack while i was walking to english

 **jakeyd:** just darted past me, put the paper in a pocket, smiled, winked, and left

 **jakeyd:** i thought it would be smthn cute

 **jakeyd:** but i opened it and it said 'sonic vore' with hearts surrounding it

 **chrissy:** wha

 **theyseemerolan:** NONONO THIS IS BAD NO THANKS

 **richaroni:** jake don't expose me like this smh

 **readyplayer1:** hey jerm check under ur beanbag  <3

 **queere:** WHAT THE FUCK

**_queere_ attached a photo.**

**theyseemerolan:** does that say minion peepee 

 **queere:** yyes

 **shesmyvalentine:** thanks! i hate it!

 **queere:** MICHAEL

 **readyplayer1:** WHAT

 **queere:** ily

 **queere:** a lot

 **readyplayer1:** awww ily2

 **theyseemerolan:** u guys are literally in the same room??

 **readyplayer1:** no im in the basement and he went upstairs to get snacks

 **theyseemerolan:** >:"(

 **readyplayer1:** come cuddle on the bed once you get downstairs  <3

 **queere:** kk ^^b

 **richaroni:** …

 

* * *

 

 

_**richaroni + chrissy** _

**richaroni:** christine i need your help

 **chrissy:** whats up?

 **richaroni:** so i have feelings

 **chrissy:** yeah

 **richaroni:** for jake

 **chrissy:** i’d assume since hes ur bf

 **richaroni:** but uh

 **richaroni:** michael is also mildly attractive 

 **chrissy:** rich

 **chrissy:** you already have a bf??? and michael has a bf??

 **richaroni:** yeah but 

 **richaroni:** jeremy is also hot 

 **chrissy:** RICH 

 **richaroni:** ik this probably sounds weird to you but

 **richaroni:** i love all of them???? please help whats happening what should i do what are these thoughts what does this MEAN

 **chrissy:** so like,,,,,polyamory?

 **richaroni:** what

 **chrissy:** you want a poly relationship

 **richaroni:** yes

 **chrissy:** and you aren't kidding or anything rite???

 **richaroni:** im serious

 **chrissy:** okay

 **chrissy:** take a breath

 **chrissy:** i’ll be your wingwoman

 **richaroni:** THANK YOU OMG

 **chrissy:** don't thank me yet

 **richaroni:** what does that mean

 **richaroni:** christine

 **richaroni:** chrissy 

 **richaroni:** ugh whatever


	6. chicken tiddies

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> everything i make is dirty im sorry

**jakeyd** : i wanna get a chicken

 **jakeyd** : and name it salmonella

 **queere** : jake wh

 **queere** : no

 **richaroni** : omg jake thats so smart

 **queere** : NO RICH CONTROL UR BF

 **readyplayer1** : jaaaaake my guy thats a great idea

 **queere** : MICHAEL

 **readyplayer1** : my grandma has a farm i can hook you up

 **jakeyd** : thats so sick man lets do this

 **queere** : DOES ANYONE SEE HOW IRRATIONAL THIS IS

 **shesmyvalentine** : the only chicken i like is chicken tiddies

 **queere** : WHAT

 **shesmyvalentine:** ???

 **queere** : CHICKEN TITS?????

 **shesmyvalentine** : OMG NO

 **shesmyvalentine** : CHICKEN TENDIES

 **shesmyvalentine** : I JUST SAY TIDDIES A LOT SO IG IT AUTOCORRECTED

 **theyseemerolan** : always be aware of autocorrect

 **theyseemerolan** : anyways have any of u seen christine

 **shesmyvalentine** : uh no 

 **queere:** shes missing?

 **shesmyvalentine** : GUYS GET THE WANTED POSTERS

 **theyseemerolan** : NO DO NOT DO THAT

 **theyseemerolan** : she left a note that said shed be back at 10pm

 **theyseemerolan** : do you think she wants space

 **theyseemerolan** : DO YOU THINK SHE WANTS TO BREAK UP WITH ME

 **shesmyvalentine** : relax jenna

 **shesmyvalentine** : clo said she was driving chris to the mall

 **theyseemerolan** : AND SHE DIDNT INVITE US???

 **readyplayer1** : is nobody going to point out how christine could even LEAVE a note

 **theyseemerolan** : u h

 **jakeyd** : youve been caught thot

 **richaroni** : thats not how you treat a woman jake

 **richaroni** : you call them a HOE

 **theyseemerolan** : this is so sad

 **readyplayer1** : alexa play despacito

 **theyseemerolan:** okayif youre gonna call me out then what about chloe having to tell brooke she was leaving

 **theyseemerolan** : UNLESS THEY WERE IN THE SAME HOUSE

 **shesmyvalentine** : we were cuddling in my room and watching aladin duh

 **richaroni** : this is so wholesome alexa play lofi/hip-hop music to study to

 **queere** : is this a call out post

 **readyplayer1** : awwwww jeeeeeerrrrreee

 **readyplayer1** : i’ll put that on next time we’re getting stoned instead of our usual beyonce

 **queere** : change it if you dare

 **queere** : bitch

 **richaroni** : you guys play beyonce while getting high? count me in

 **jakeyd** : rich no

 **richaroni:** rich yes

 **jakeyd** : i wont kiss you if you’re high

 **richaroni** : :(

 **richaroni** : fine

 **shesmyvalentine** : i miss my gf

 **theyseemerolan** : same :(

 **readyplayer1** : im gay cant relate sorry

 **richaroni** : hi gay im daddy

 **readyplayer1** : excuse me

 **readyplayer1** : IM daddy

 **richaroni** : im daddier

 **queere** : no homo but me + jake share gym class and in the locker room he had scratches on his back so

 **jakeyd** : JEREMY 

 **jakeyd** : Oh MY GOD YOU SAW THOSE??

 **richaroni** : WHAT THE FUCK JEREMY

 **readyplayer1** : ha OWNED

 **readyplayer1** : anways

 **readyplayer1** : @ rich + jake  

 **readyplayer1** : u guys wanna come over to my place tonight for mario kart

 **jakeyd** : hell yeah my guy

 **richaroni** : yeah then i can show you who’s REALLY owned

 **shesmyvalentine** : okay if the BOYS can hang out together then WE should get together at my place **@theyseemerolan**

 **theyseemerolan** : sure why not

 **theyseemerolan** : also

 **theyseemerolan** : you know i dont have steady hands brooke so

 **shesmyvalentine** : ik ik bring over the nail polish

 **shesmyvalentine:** i wont do mine though

 **shesmyvalentine** : i Do Not like my tits today

 **theyseemerolan** : give me your boobs

 **readyplayer1** : take my boobs too

 **richaroni** : YEETS MY HAKUNA MATATAS AT U 

 **readyplayer1** : we are the trans squad, ready to stabbo

 **theyseemerolan** : breasts on a stick are my favorite snack

 **richaroni** : you do that, you funky little trans lesbian

 **queere** : today is the day of loving our trans gods

 **queere** : also PAINTING NAILS SOUNDS LIKE A GREAT IDEA

 **readyplayer1** : FUCK YEAH

 **richaroni** : paint dicks all over my nails

 **jakeyd** : rich wh a t the fuc

 **richaroni** : <3

 **jakeyd** : ...

 **jakeyd** : <3

 **readyplayer1** : okay u 3 fucks better be at my place at 8 <3

 **queere** : i’ll be there <3

 **jakeyd** : same <3

 **richaroni** : whats the heart for

 **jakeyd** : i thought we were all doing hearts

 **richaroni** : oh

 **richaroni** : see you all later then <3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i just noticed i made half of the squad trans and THAT ORIGINALLY WASN'T GONNA HAPPEN but i didnt know which hc was my favorite so i used all of them?? u feel me??


	7. malk shake

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sry for not updating much i dont really feel satisfied when i write chatfics smksjdndbfbf

imhervalentine: my pussy is poppin and im ready to watch the emoji movie

jakeyd: hey chloe what the fuck

shesmyvalentine: im leaving you

imhervalentine: dw brooke i saved a spot for you on my couch <3

shesmyvalentine: hey wheres my sweater 

imhervalentine: on the couch ;)

shesmyvalentine: goddammit

shesmyvalentine: i need something to cover what im wearing

jaked: what are you wearing?

richaroni: jake >:“(

jakeyd: omg rich 

richaroni: bro

jakeyd: pls

richaroni: :(

jakeyd: fine

jakeyd: then what are YOU wearing?

richaroni: NOT BETTER

readyplayer1: damn id trade my soul for a double chocolate chip cookie from subway

queere: chonklate

jakeyd: id eat that chonklate

richaroni: petition to eat jeremys chonklate

jakeyd: signed

readyplayer1: signed

queere: did you all sign a petition to eat my ass

readyplayer1: yes

jakeyd: is the plural of jeremy jeremies

richaroni: i

queere: wh

readyplayer1: i would like to order 3 jeremies with a side of guys

theyseemerolan: h

theyseemerolan: hewwo??

queere: hewwo owo

readyplayer1: uwu

chrissy: im having a stroke

chrissy: and jenna!!!! ily

chrissy: and you need to come in our room like rn

theyseemerolan: what happened??

chrissy: theyre having couples night at steak n shake

theyseemerolan: aw fuck yeah

richaroni: lets all go and order a fortnite burger

jakeyd: rich i swear to fucking grilled cheese

richaroni: but all of us should go and hang out

richaroni: plus food discount

queere: yeah!!!!!!!!!!

queere: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

queere: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

queere: !!!!!!!!

queere: !!!!!

queere: !!

queere: !

readyplayer1: are you okay

queere: no

chrissy: so is everyone free today

shemyvalentine: YES ABSOLUTELY LETS GO ANYTHING BUT THE EMOJI MOVIE

chrissy: meet at steak n shake at 7 wear the fanciest thing youve got

imhervalentine: t

imhervalentine: to a steak n shake

chrissy: yes

imhervalentine: cant argue with that logic

-

imhervalentine: this is so sad alexa play despacito

readyplayer1: why are we playing the death tune

imhervalentine: brooke got sick D:

imhervalentine: sry to cancel on you guys like that

imhervalentine: theyre sleeping rn

readyplayer1: tell them i hope they feel better

queere: is this a lie so you can get it on

imhervalentine: jeremy literally shut your hell

chrissy: all of you shut your hell and get ready

queere: no swearing on my minecraft server

-

shesmyvalentine: give us the deets from laat night

imhervalentine: yeahyeahyeah

theyseemerolan: first of all

theyseemerolan: all of the boys wore suits

theyseemerolan: what the fuck

chrissy: I WASNT SERIOUS GUYS

jakeyd: WHO DO YOU THINK WE ARE

chrissy: but i think something spicy was happening with the guys at their table

theyseemerolan: they passed their milkshakes around the table and sipped out of everyones straw to see which one was best

jakeyd: it was my shake

jakeyd: mine was the best

queere: the snickers one is too chocolatey

queere: i think it was rich’s

chrissy: you arent denying something was up

-

chrissy: you cant ignore it foreeevveeerrrr

-

_**jakeyd + readyplayer1** _

 

jakeyd: hey michael?

readyplayer1: wha

jakeyd: do you and jeremy wanna come over to rich’s house tonight? weve got something to tell u

readyplayer1: sure thing

-

**_toto blessed the gays down in nj_ **

 

> theyseemerolan: something’s up with the boys


	8. cocko ppufs

**richaroni:** la de da de da   
  


**richaroni:** slob on me knob

 

**readyplayer1:** rich pls 

 

**richaroni:** look whos begging now ;)   
  


**readyplayer1:** RICH PLS   
  


**chrissy:** im not one to point things out but SOMETHING HAPPENED    
  


**shesmyvalentine:** god i thought i muted this groupchat

 

**shesmyvalentine** : whatre u doing up its 2 am

 

**chrissy** : cmon brooke you gotta help me somethings happening w/ the boys   
  


**chrissy** : did u all finally get together   
  


**readyplayer1** : WHAT   
  


**readyplayer1** : HOW   
  


**readyplayer1** : HOW DID YOU   
  


**richaroni** : :)   
  


**richaroni** : sdfgyhuhgtfrhjghf yeah   
  


**chrissy** : FINALLY   
  


**chrissy** : wheres the other 2   
  


**readyplayer1** : jeremy’s asleep on jake’s chest its amazing

 

**chrissy** : YEAH LETS GO   
  


  
  


**imhervalentine** : I KNEW IT I KNEW IT I KN   
  


**jakeyd** : morning

 

**imhervalentine** : JAKE I CANT BELIEVE YOU DIDNT EVEN TELL ME   
  


**jakeyd** : what

 

**imhervalentine** : YOURE DATING RICH   
  


**imhervalentine** : AND MICHAEL   
  


**imhervalentine** : AND JEREMY   
  


**jakeyd** : we only got together last night calm your tiddies   
  


**imhervalentine** : HGVFBHGFDCC   
  


**imhervalentine** : MY TITS ARE ON FIRE   
  


**imhervalentine** : FLAMING   
  


**imhervalentine** : HOT BOOBIES   
  


**shesmyvalentine** : chloe r u okay   
  


**shesmyvalentine** : shes walking out of the room nooooo

 

**shesmyvalentine** : okay shes back but shes eating cocoa puffs out of a coffee mug okay   
  


**readyplayer1** : now i want cocoa puffs why would you do this   
  
**readyplayer1** : rich where are u going

 

**richaroni** : to walmart

 

**richaroni** : gotta get cocoa puffs   
  
**chrissy** : day 1 and youre already married

 

**queere** : wheres rich

 

**queere** : oh

 

**readyplayer1** : we’re all gonna roast cocoa puffs over an open fire

 

**richaroni** : guysguysguysguys

 

**richaroni** : theres so many different kinds of cereal

 

**richaroni** : cocoa puffs acquired 

 

**richaroni** : THERES COCOA PUFFS WITH LUCKY CHARMS MARSHMALLOWS    
  
**readyplayer1** : get them

 

**queere** : get them   
  
**jakeyd** : get them   
  
**theyseemerolan** : first of all, congrats for finally not being dumb and realizing you all liked each other

 

**theyseemerolan** : second of all, WHAT PLEASE DONT TELL ME YOURE GETTING COCOA PUFFS WITH MARSHMALLOWS   
  
**richaroni** : we’re not dumb

 

**richaroni** : im lost wheres the check out   
  
**theyseemerolan** : what did i say

 

**richaroni** : okay i found it but theres only one line open and this lady does not look friendly

 

**richaroni** : oh god her name is shanon

 

**queere** : you must bring us the orbs for us to consume

 

**richaroni** : the orbs are coming!!!! orbs orbs orbs orbs or

  
  
  
  


**jakeyd** : so we’re all going on a date

 

**chrissy** : we been knew

 

**jakeyd** : yeah but WHAT do i wear

 

**jakeyd** : my best shirt is an orange and cyan hawaiian shirt with vomit stains

 

**chrissy** : im coming over oh my god

 

**richaroni** : im sure whatever u wear will be fine <3

 

**chrissy** : ya thats because im coming over to do the picking out

 

**queere** : im gonna be honest i dont know what to wear either since rich said the place we’re going is a surprise

 

**chrissy** :  **_@shesmyvalentine_ ** fix him up

 

**shesmyvalentine** : im leaving to ur house rn

 

**shesmyvalentine** : did all of you leave rich’s place

 

**queere** : yeet

 

**shesmyvalentine** : SOMEONES GOTTA DRESS UP MICHAEL   
  


**shesmyvalentine** :  **_@imhervalentine_ ** u gotta

 

**imhervalentine** :  **_@readyplayer1_ ** hey im coming over 

 

**readyplayer1** : okay ig just dont make me look like a clown

 

**imhervalentine** : ur already a clown shut up

 

**readyplayer1** : thank u

 

**queere** : i happen to be clownsexual 

 

**readyplayer1** : <3

 

**queere** : <3

 

**jakeyd** : are you calling me a clown too

 

**richaroni** : we’re both clowns jake why are you trying to hide it

 

**jakeyd** : goat damp rich ur really gonna out me like that huh

 

**richaroni** : i happen to be clownsexual myself

 

**jakeyd** : we’re all clownsexual here

  
  
  


**_imhervalentine_ ** **attatched a photo.**

  
  
  


**queere** : oh my g o   d

 

**jakeyd** : i

 

**richaroni** : you dont need to go to heaven to see an angel

 

**chrissy** : CHLOE YOURE NOT SUPPOSED TO LET THE GROOMS SEE EACH OTHER BEFORE THE CEREMONY

 

**readyplayer1** : oh my goooooddd nbvgnhmkhb im not that attractive

 

**jakeyd** : WYM

 

**readyplayer1** : bnvbgnbgbfh

 

**richaroni** : im coming to pick u guys up at 9 youve got 20 minutes ;)

 

**queere** : wheeerree are we goooiiinngggg

 

**richaroni** : its a secret

 

**richaroni** : but its a restaurant

 

**shesmyvalentine** : ooh ;))))))

  
  
  
  


**jakeyd** : so we’ve arrived at the ‘restaurant’ and

 

**queere** : this is a mcdonalds

 

**readyplayer1** : can we get a happy meal

 

**richaroni** : yes we’re all getting happy meals 

 

**readyplayer1** : ILY   
  
**chrissy** : YOURE ALL IN THE SAME PLACE JUST TALK TO EACH OTHER

 

**jakeyd** : GONNA GET THESE NUGS

  
  
  


**_queere_ ** **attatched a photo.**

  
  
  


**theyseemerolan** : ya know i get it when two people share the same milkshake but its a little crowded when all four of you drink at the same time

 

**jakeyd** : they gave me the cherry and it tastes like plastic

 

**readyplayer1** : This Is A McDonalds What Did You Expect

 

**jakeyd** : h

 

**imhervalentine** : so did we all just dress them up in ~$100 clothes to go to mcdonalds

 

**chrissy** : yeah :/

 

**shesmyvalentine** : yeah :/

  
**richaroni** : but they all look hot thank you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i havent updated in a while but i live to disappoint babey
> 
> plus ive had more time since i dislocated my leg on tuesday so thats nice

**Author's Note:**

> the chapters will be longer after this!!!!  
> its short bc its the first lmao  
> and if u dont get what jakes pic is for then its basically just them sharing the same spaghetti noodle  
> cliche right
> 
> well im a SLUT for kudos + comments so if u did that then ty 
> 
> i plan to update 3 times a week so bookmark this if u dont want to scroll endlessly to find this
> 
> ok bye xx


End file.
